Always Here
by Silver Tidal Wave
Summary: "Oh Sev," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. "I'm still here. And I always will be."


It was only a few hours before the Halloween feast, and to the surprise of almost all the students, Severus Snape was walking quickly down the corridors, his long robes billowing behind him, with what seemed to be tears glistening in his eyes, and his lips slightly trembling. While this in itself was odd enough, for Professor Snape usually never seemed to show any emotion besides his usual sneering demeanour, he was also carrying a bouquet of lilies in one hand, which he was trying to hide unsuccessfully under his robes. He was staring straight ahead, not even noticing how all the students stopped and stared at him as he passed, and then started whispering frantically to their friends.

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley noticed this as well. Harry and Ron both just stared at Snape, their mouths slightly open, though Hermione had a thoughtful look on her face as she watched after him.

"Where do ya think Snape's heading off to?" Ron asked when he had passed, jerking his thumb back in Snape's direction. Harry shrugged, and Hermione just remained thoughtful.

"Dunno mate…maybe he's…err…" Harry tailed off, not quite sure what to make of it.

Ron seemed to realise something. "Hey…he wasn't carrying _flowers_ was he?"

"He was" Harry replied. "Which is odd…maybe Snape is dating someone"

Ron burst out laughing so loudly that students turned from a few feet away from them turned and looked around, but Ron didn't notice, he was so carried away laughing that tears were running down his freckled face. "Snape…_dating?_" He managed in between hearty guffaws. "Who…would be…stupid enough…to date..._him?"_

Hermione still hadn't come back down to earth yet, but Harry and Ron hadn't noticed. Harry grinned and shrugged. "Err…Madam Pince?"

Ron looked at him for a split second before collapsing into giggles again, pretty much falling into Hermione, which woke her from her trance. Harry started laughing too, clapping Ron on the shoulder as they both pictured Snape grinning sheepishly and offering the bunch of lilies to the hook-nosed librarian.

"Would you two idiots shut up?" Hermione cried, grabbing their shoulders and making them look at her. "Isn't it obvious where Snape is going?"

"Of course it's obvious to _you_" Ron grumbled, wiping the last tear from his eye. Harry however, looked thoughtful.

"Well at least I don't have the emotional range of a teaspoon" Hermione shot back, folding her arms. "Didn't you see the look on his face? He looked like he was about to cry!"

"Now _that's_ something I'd like to see"

Hermione glared at Ron, and he fell silent immediately, looking down at the ground.

"You…you don't think he's gone to visit a _grave, _do you 'Mione?" Harry asked, looking in the direction Snape had gone.

Hermione nodded. "I think so…why else would he have some lilies?" Hermione's eyes widened and she gasped in understanding.

"What Hermione?" Ron and Harry asked at the same time, though they didn't seem all too interested. Harry was still looking thoughtfully down the corridor, and Ron was still gazing at the floor.

"I…I uh…we have to be at Herbology!" Hermione said urgently, pulling Harry and Ron by their robes. Ron laughed and pulled himself out of Hermione's grasp. "No we don't Hermione that's not for another…" he gazed at his watch and then paled. Harry and Hermione stopped, only just realising that the corridor was completely empty.

"What?"

Ron looked up. "We better run"

X~~~~~~~~X

While Harry, Ron and Hermione were dashing off to Herbology, Snape had Disapparated to Godric's Hollow, walking quickly and with purpose, keeping his eyes straight ahead of him. The pavement was littered with reddish-orange leaves, and the swirled around his feet and danced in the air as the wind picked them up in its grasp. To Snape, it reminded him of Lily's hair, and a lump formed in his throat and he swallowed painfully.

Images of Lily came unbidden into his mind, causing sharp, stabbing pains to shoot through his heart. The way her smile lit up a room, the way her emerald eyes used to sparkle at him when they sat by the lake, her fiery hair that tumbled around her shoulders…he dashed his hand quickly across his eyes…even now he sometimes couldn't believe that she had died…she had always seemed so _alive_, so charismatic, that he couldn't even picture her now lying motionless in a coffin, still, white and cold…Severus let out a strangled sob, and some passer- by looked at him curiously, though they looked away when they noticed the expression of grief on his face.

Slowly he pushed open the gate to the graveyard, flinching a little when the loud screeching filled the silence. Shutting it gently behind him he walked over to Lily's grave. He'd come here often enough now to know exactly where it was, and he found it within minutes.

For some reason his grief worsened when he saw the grave, as though it was pushing down on his lungs and heart. His legs felt weak, and he collapsed on his knees by the grave as tears stung in his eyes. For the first time he let them fall, not bothering to wipe them away.

Gently, reverently, he lay the lilies across the grave and then ran his shaking fingers lightly ran across her name etched on the gravestone, his black hair shielding his face. He felt vulnerable, and he didn't want anyone to see him, though he was completely alone in the graveyard.

He opened his mouth, but his voice seemed to have stuck in his throat. Snape sniffed, wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control his shaking body.

"I…I hope you like the flowers Lily" he whispered hoarsely, his voice cracking when he said her name. He waited, as though he was expecting her to answer, but her sweet voice was silenced forever, and the graveyard was as quiet as ever, a few murmurs here and there from other people visiting their loved ones. Snape leaned back and put his hand in his pocket, his fumbling fingers poking around until he found what he was looking for.

It was a photo that he and Lily had taken while they were lying by the lake in their third year. Snape had produced the camera from his robes, and Lily at once attempted to hide her face, saying she always looked horrible in photos. Snape had tried to convince her, but she wouldn't turn around.

"_Aw, come on Lily, you look beautiful!" Snape said grinning, placing a hand on her waist and tugging lightly. Still she wouldn't turn around, and kept her face buried in the soft grass, giggling as she did so. _

"_Sev, I always look horrible in photos" she laughed as she pulled her body once more out of his grasp, which made him grin. "You will not believe how many Muggle yearbooks I've ripped my photo out of!"_

_Though his heart was pounding as he did so, Severus once again wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against his chest, making her gasp softly. "Please Lil?" He begged, feeling around for her hand and taking it in her own. "Just one photo?"_

"_No!" She giggled, once again trying to escape, though he kept a tight hold on her waist, and they both laughed for a while as she tried to extricate herself. _

"_Well…Lily you leave me no other choice" he said solemnly, sitting up but keeping his arm around her waist. Lily stiffened. _

"_Don't you dare…" she warned, now wriggling in earnest. _

"_I will" Severus said grinning, pinning her on the grass. Lily giggled and curled her body up. _

"_You wouldn't…"_

"_I would!" Snape sang playfully, and with that he began tickling her, and Lily rolled around laughing, trying to get away from Snape's fingers, but her wouldn't let up. He tickled her even more as he pulled her close to him, and in vain she tried to use her hands to pull off his fingers, and she turned so hard that Severus rolled on top of her, his hands moving instinctively to her shoulders. _

_Both teens stopped laughing immediately, both of them breathing heavily as they looked into each other's eyes, green gazing into black. Snape's heart was pounding fiercely in his chest as he looked at her, her fiery red hair was full of grass and was spread around her face, her eyes sparkled as she looked at him, her cheeks were stained with pink, and her full lips were parted in astonishment. _

"_I…uh…sorry" Snape mumbled, rolling off her and laying on his back, looking up at the sky. Lily was quiet for a moment, and Snape was furious with himself and embarrassed beyond belief. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the rustling of the grass as Lily crept closer to him, the fallen camera clutched in her hand. _

"_Gah!" Snape shouted as Lily began tickling him, an evil grin spread across her face. Snape started laughing, trying to escape from her nimble, quick fingers, and Lily giggled as they rolled over and over in the grass, getting covered in leaves and getting dangerously close to the edge of the lake._

_Thinking quickly Snape snatched the camera from Lily's hand and snapped a picture of them as they stopped rolling and lay back in the grass, giggling like they were eleven years old again, and Lily's face took on an expression of mock outrage, and she straddled Severus and hit him on the chest. _

"_Sev! You took my picture while I was covered in grass and red in the face!" She scolded, though the effect was ruined because of her huge grin._

_Snape smiled as he looked up at her, his heart pounding furiously in his chest, but he forced himself to remain cool. _

"_I'm so very sorry Miss. Evans" he said solemnly, though he too was grinning. "Please accept my humble apology"_

_Lily pretended to think about it, and Severus pouted, which made her giggle. "Oh alright right Sev" she said, getting off him, but lying close to him, snuggling into his chest. Snape's heart lightened and he wrapped he arms around her. _

"_On one condition though"_

_Snape pulled back and looked at her. "Which is what?"_

_Lily grinned and buried her face in his chest. "Don't ever take my picture again"_

Snape's lips pulled into a small smile as he looked at the black and white photo. They were both laughing as they looked at each other. Both of them were covered in bits of grass and leaves, and as he watched, Lily buried her face in his chest in embarrassment and he pulled her closer to him.

A tear fell onto the frame, and Snape hastily wiped it away, remembering what it was like to just be another carefree teenager, laughing and having fun with the one person he loved most in the world. Sniffing he took one more long look at the photo and then placed it gently on the grave, next to the lilies.

"I probably should have told you this while you were alive" he whispered, looking at the picture of both of them laughing together. "But I love you" another tear fell from his cheek, and he wiped his face again. "I always have, and I always will, even though you're gone"

All at once, a gentle breeze swept around him making his hair fall into his eyes and his robes billow around him. So softly he thought he could have imagined it, he felt soft fingers brush his cheeks, wiping the tears from his eyes.

Then suddenly, her sweet voice sounded in his ear, as clear as though she was standing right next to him. "Oh Sev" she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. "I'm still here. And I always will be"


End file.
